Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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