I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
