Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She is in my trunk
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
