Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
