pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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