soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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