CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
