i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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