My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
