There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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