There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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