He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
