she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
