i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
