my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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