You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She said her name was "party"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize