She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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