He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
