fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
