So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just tell him i said nine months
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
