No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
