ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
