I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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