Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
