well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
