you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
