We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
