My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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