the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
