If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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