Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
