We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
why do cheetos always look like penises
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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