What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm having to shit out rocks
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
