Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
