hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
What drink are we having for lunch?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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