I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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