I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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