So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
