what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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