Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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