The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
