i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
