I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
