Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize