also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
