You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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