He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
