I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
