Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
