The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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