My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize