sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
