And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
