you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
