i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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