we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
