I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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