He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My feet surprised me
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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