Define "chronic" masturbator.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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